This apple has a rotten spot
I think I should complain
I’ll write to Asda, double quick.
Oh hell, here comes the rain.
My washing was so nearly dry,
And now it’s all wet through
The weather forecast told a lie
A quick complaint is due.
My laptop’s ready for the job
I’m going to tut-tut
I’ve got the kettle on the hob
Oh no! A power cut!
I’ll sit down here and use a pen
At least I can still write
To Asda first, and only then …
… Wow, that lighning’s bright!
The fire brigade are on their way
At least that’s what they said
I’ll sit here tight and come what may
I will not lose my head.
I’ve made a list, it’s nice and long
Of all the silly twits
Who always get everything wrong
So nothing ever fits.
There’s something banging at the door
I think it has a horn
I just cannot take any more
Really? Demon Spawn?
Dear Sir or Madam, from these lips
Of mine please hear my plea …
This noisy, wet apocalypse
Is really not for me.