This apple has a rotten spot

I think I should complain

I’ll write to Asda, double quick.

Oh hell, here comes the rain.

My washing was so nearly dry,

And now it’s all wet through

The weather forecast told a lie

A quick complaint is due.

My laptop’s ready for the job

I’m going to tut-tut

I’ve got the kettle on the hob

Oh no! A power cut!

I’ll sit down here and use a pen

At least I can still write

To Asda first, and only then …

… Wow, that lighning’s bright!

The fire brigade are on their way

At least that’s what they said

I’ll sit here tight and come what may

I will not lose my head.

I’ve made a list, it’s nice and long

Of all the silly twits

Who always get everything wrong

So nothing ever fits.

There’s something banging at the door

I think it has a horn

I just cannot take any more

Really? Demon Spawn?

Dear Sir or Madam, from these lips

Of mine please hear my plea …

This noisy, wet apocalypse

Is really not for me.

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