The hole in the pantry

I wrote this earlier this week, for a performance with Sid Calderbank, the Lancashire Society, and Lancashire Authors’ Association at Tarleton Library.

It’s based on a true story. There was a crack in my grandma’s pantry floor. There probably still is. It came and went. I cannot promise that it reached down to hell.

T’ole in grandma’s pantry, came and went tha see
She sed th’ was a mahn shaft
That fell, infernally
My teddy fell in, Jasper
Was found just half a ted
T’ole ‘d et his body
And left mi wi his ed
Mi mam sed that were rubbish
Twas no more than an inch
A slight case of subsidence
Two inches, at a pinch
Big sister, she knew better
She’d erd wha t’owd folks tell
In’t night that ole in’t pantry
Was like a wishing well
What’s that yer saying mister?
That ah’m t’oldest one?
Ah did have a big sister
But sadly, now, she’s gone
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